boyofzoot:

gf: whats on your mind babe?

me mentally: suckin on your tiddy bress

me: how beautiful you are

gf: aww

dogfricker:

juliep0wers:

the-weird-wide-web:

I like how dudes try to pretend vaginas are gross and meanwhile their dicks literally shoot slime.

I AM SCREAMING

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

back when i was a dildo keeper my dildos were really gentle and one time i scooped up a handful of them and i got rly emotional and wanted to kiss them and i essentially faceplanted myself into a palm full of dildos while crying and that’s an important fact about me

alright who changed it from beekeeper to dildo keeper

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

wifipasswords:

deadlycrocker:

sometimes the comments on porn gifs are better than the gif itself

I am no longer afraid to die

ludakristen:

kims-possible:

ludakristen:

*pauses mid bj to put hair in bun* ok leggo

Ok so real talk I dated this guy for a while and whenever I went down on him I would tie my hair up. He told me later that I had accidentally conditioned him so that anytime I put my hair up around him he would immediately get a boner.

This is amazing

This is true power

during sex

girlfriend: why are u laughing
me: thought of a meme

t34ch3r:

The best answer I’ve ever seen.

cyberho:

Dick riding IS NOT a form of transportation!!!!!!!! 

niggarettelovin:

bitchsides:

one of my biggest fears is dying after i suck a dick…. like once i watched Law & Order SVU & this dead girl had just sucked dick and had a bunch of semen in her stomach….. if they found me dead with semen in my stomach my mom would kill herself just so she could meet me in hell and beat my ass

crying

manhood:

When you suck his dick and make him nut too quick

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great